bebelan

My ex crush just talk to me.. lamanya x dgr cite.. malu.. hmm ..
forbiden love ofcourse.. adeh.. hmm x pe la.. i hope one day, i will find someone just like you,the fun,funny.. talkative.. i dont know why.. you got a some sort magnet that atract me... but i know i have to face the reality.. we will never be together..hmm.. :((((

I hate driving.. I really sucks.. asik kena hon.. patu x reti nak center kan kate.. x reti nak masuk line lain.. x reti nak belok, u turn..
kenapa la kena drive???... adeh i hope im f*cking rich so that i can have my own driver everywhre nk pegi senangg...-_-"

I hate growing up.. i wish i can be small.. dont have any kinds of responsibility... stupid effing.. bla-bla-bla..

I hate people,and people hate me.. sometime i just wish i can find a place i can be alone in this world.. just me,myself and i.. where i can do anything and anytime i want..

I prefer harry poter than narnia.. for this dec movie choices..; da tgk 2,2.. narnia bosan bole tido.. haha.. cant wait for part 2 harryy..

Maybe because i in the moon, sbb itu emo semacam.. hak3

Us against the world

I been thinking about you today,
How we are if we did it our way,

There is a strong wall between us,
Is between You and I against the world,

We are so different,
Your like summer,
While Im like winter

We seems to complete each other,
but nobody's knows that
nobody's can hear that

How much I miss you,
You don't even know,
I look trough the old picture
I listen to our song over and over

I wish there is a place You and I can be alone
We can start talking and laughing with each other

I wish we can spent the time more longer,
But I have to face our world and hereafter

Don't ever let our relationship go,
If there is still hope for this flow

We meet in a place called here,
Don't be afraid my dear,
I wont go far, I'm always near
We will go trough this one step and another

Till fate brings us together,
Then I will love You forever.

Love and frust

First topic, cinta. hee.. Different people , different way of showing them... weird kan aku cakap pasal cinta.. mcm pernah je.. well anyway.. Apa yang aku rasa tentang cinta.. Ianya sgt indah.. Especially the first love because it cannot be forgotten.. First date , first gift,first anniversary and so on.. Time free2 aku suka baca story about love... Tips about guys and girls.. Even though its not the same like experience it, menarik baca..Teori byk practikal is another thing, hehe.. Masa aku kecik2 aku sangat x paham why there is so many love song in this world , especially lagu melayu yang agak jiwang2.. Like what's so interesting about love..Macam x de lagu lain pulak.. But as i grow older, most of the song i heard everyday was about love.. X kisahlah lagu endon ke.. but mostly English song because x rase cam jiwang sgt but cam sweet-sweet gitu.. Woah and actually aku sangat x matang when it comes to love.. Sbb itu when people start talking about love i tend to freak out.. hehe..ini baru cakap pasal cinta belum sal kapel2 lagi.. hee.. Relationship and love maybe berkaitan but ada yang ada bf/gf tapi cam x de.. they dont even fall in love with each other.. Slalunya berlaku apabila situasi tangkap muat, and they think relationship is just a status.. X pun spare part.. You know orang ketiga untuk teman2 sunyi and all.. Ada jugak situasi, fall in love with each other but never declare as a couple.. Ini slalunya orang warak2 la kut.. X pun masing2 ade commitment..Cinta dalam diam gitu..X pernah diungkapkan dengan kata2.. eceh2.. X pun cinta terhalang.. hehe.. Kecewa bercinta memang sangat sakit kan.. Perasaan di reject.. Cinta x kesampaian or even putus di tengah jalan..Paling worst putus di tengah jalan sbb mostly type nie slalunya da kapel lama da but putus ditengah jalan sbb mungkin x serasi , or dihalang oleh orang tua , ada orang ketiga or mmg sah2 x de jodoh la..Sangat sedih la because memory itu masih ada.. Perasaan di reject x sama dengan cinta x kesampaian .. Perasaan di reject kalau sorang minat and sorang lagi x, while cinta x kesampaian lebih kurang cam cinta dalam diam.. Cinta syok sendiri lak cam imaginary love.. orang yang suka berangan jatuh kepada title cinta SS.. Minat kat sesorang yang next to impossible jadi milik kita contohnya minat kat artis ke, MAHER ZAIN ke,DR. SHEIKH MUDZAFFAR ke， taylor swift ke.. haha.. and so on.. But dont worry to those singles out there, people do moved on..Kumbang bukan seekor, bunga bukan sekuntum.. eceh aku ckp cam aku x single lak..

Selamat hari raya

Time flies, things change, people change.. there is a thing i learn from a couple years before.. I hope i can get it right this time.. i dont know why i been so blur.. This is not a story about me and him, whoever him was.. this about me myself and i.. Nk wat keje.. nak dapat dean's list evry sem.. but masih malas..ape nak jadi nie.. menghadap lappy sajaee.. waduhh..oklah.. kena bertekad untuk movee.. or at lease pikir cmne nk move.. haha.. ape aku merepek nie..mintak maaf semua, selamat hari raya.

PS- honestly skrg aku jadi menyampah dgn lagu2 raya.. huhu.. kat mana2 pun

Im not a girl,not yet women

Im Nine teens.. young?.. remaja akhiran.. next year im turning two zero.. Sgt x seronok sbb da x teens lagi da.. As i grow older.. decision kne wat sendiri.. pros and cons.. kena suffer sendiri.. Sigh*.. i dont like it.. but suka x suka kena wat jugak.. Ok.. bila pkir2 balik* eceh muhasabah diri la konon.. hmm barang2 aku semua pun kartun2 ag.. X matured lgsg.. haha..perangai pun samee.. Tapi kalo ak matured sgt plak nanti jadi bosan.. serius jek all the time.. I want to live my life to the fullies .. Redah je la pape yg terjadi pun.. Time skrg la nak try byk benda.. Learn so many new stuff.. Once i settle down, da ade tanggunjwb semua.. * eceh3 poyo rilex la lame lagi kot.. I may not be perfect but parts of me are awesome.. haha.. so guna an kelebihan yg ade..Maybe i do have flaws.. but yg penting perbaikinya.. If i want things to change then i must change.. Benda remeh temeh da malas nak pikir da.. buat pening otak jeh.. nak fokus on bigger stuff in my life.. Problems tolak ke tepi dulu please stay away from my life..haha.. I just need second chance..ya allah please.. I know i been such a spoilt brat.. I cant give up now.. A litle hope please.. hmm..

The other side of me..

Semua bermula just for fun.. sekarang jadi serius?.. Unexpected just happen... People said expect the unexpected.. Tapi aku bukan super hero.. I cant predict life.. Just go with the flow .. Mungkin ini terbaik .. Ntah la.. Tak berani nak cakap pape2.. Diluah mati bapak ditelan mati mak *not sure btl ke x.... Aku baru 19 years old... Tidak perlu pikir terlalu jauh.. Atlease not at this moment.. How can i take care of people when i cant take care of myself.. Love is easy the relationship is tough *ckp seperti expert tapi tidak mempunyai experience .. hmm..Feelings susah berubah but my reaction sometimes tak bergantung pada feelings.. Jodoh dan pertemuan di tangan tuhan.. Berserah, redha dan pasrah.. *kenapa tiba2 aku cakap macam orang sudah matured?.. Jauh lagi perjalanan aku ini.. Masih tak kenal dunia, masih ingin mengejar cita2.. Right guy , wrong time and wrong guy right time.. Aku nie suka berahsia.. Sometime unpredictable jugak.. Pendengar yang baik akan paham aku.. Bila rasaku ini rasamu.. Org kata aku ini mysterious type dan kadang2 heartless.. Dan aku nie bukan panas baran tapi keras hati mungkin akan jumpa orang yang panas baran tapi lembut hati.. When u talk i will listen but when ur quiet i will talk.. Better said too much than dont have to say what you need to say again..Or ckp terlalu banyak boleh datang banyak musibah?..Cakap org suruh make it simple tapi kamu yang complicated.. haha..Sometimes i dont understand myself..Oh yeah mungkin aku akan ada no celcom lepas ini.. * harap2 ada stock.. hmmmm..Aku perlu learning and petunjuk. . Ya allah permudahkan lah perjalanan ku ini..Bersabarlah..

Sometimes

Yep sometimes giving up isn't a bad thing after all.. I cant read people's mind.. so be it.. What's done cannot be undone.. That's it i got my own life to take care of.. Enough is enough.. My decision is final..

Buat hal

Hari nie.. aku buat hal.. yep.. mmg buat hal.. kenapa?.. saja nk try something different.. gedik an?.. haha.. x pew2.. nobody's know's the truth anyway.. hehe.. I cant pretend that nothing happen.. but anyway.. just tell the truth jelah anwyay.. :D

1st

Oh gila lah aku ini.. Ya allah permudahkan lah perjalanan ini.. sigh.. i ask people to be strong.. tapi kenapa i feel weak and not so suree.. the things is suruh org be cool, chill, rilex.. padahal you know deep inside macam nak scream kuat2 satu malaysia nie dengar.. bodoh kan?.. tapi nak wat camne.. things happen, aku sendiri pun x taw ape sebenarnya aku buat sekarang nie..haha.. org kate just go with the flow~~, just go with the flow~~.. rasa nak sepak2 pipi nie.. Yang nak buat dah buat, skrg nak face the next step.. Its not easy and it will never be..Im just scared thats all maybe because its your 1st experience..Perasaan berdebar, awkward , weird.. Damn it...

ehehheheh..

malu aku.. :).. hahahha..
lupa plak benda nie org leh baca..
hahaha..
kantoi..
hmmm...
nothing happens actually kawan2..
is just a stupid crush..
hahaha..

Oh god!..

Hmm.. i dont want them, i want him.. huhu.. but please kc, dont get ur hopes too high.. He could be the one.. but still i couldn't say for sure..Oh god please, if he is the guy for me let our journey be safe and happy.. :)..

Be thankful kc

Hmm.. lets check the good and the bad stuff.. Kenapa lah aku nih asyik x puas ati jek.. huhu.. silalah bersyukur.. u already got what you want then why do you want more.. huhu..good is enough ok.. hmm.. ape lah.. huhu.. da2 gi tido dr buat benda tah pape tah.. and2 please mr.rainbow leave me alone...i dont want to be confuse anymore..;((.. Yup im on dean list.. ;)

i have decided..

Thanks for the awesome memory ..It was sweet enough to make me go trough the next day..If goodbyes was what u asked then is what i will give.. I should just think twice before i do anything.. but then again this was obvious.. Oh god please don't make me go through this again, i had enough.. Tired and sick of it.. Its really hurt wishing for something that you know very well that you can never have..

Note to self-No more drama.. i have learned my lesson..

Wishes- May the best years ahead me..Cant wait for the next sem.. Camera..camera..

The good things is- There is more than one choices.. haha..Plus i can keep my promises.. hihi which is far more important..Plus it wasn't even in the list..

Future-things can change, so does people..

fening

huhu.. keadaan yg mebinggungkan.. should i just stop everythings and makes things clear now.. oh i shoudnt give up?.. decission is really tough.. damn it..

Hiss

Complain.. its all you can do.. i know is being weird..things change ok.. terima jelah weyh..hmm.. if only..if only.. what more that u want acceli.. tired la begini.. then thats it if i want things to change i must change.. huhu.. girl ini mesty sbb pms.. huhu.. oklah out


*Ps-people do ignore this

New blog..

Dlm prosess nak wat blog baru..
huhu.. yg sesuai utk tontonan umum..
Blog yg lebih menujukkan sifat positif..
Wait and see.. ;)))

Kenapa saya suka blog saya

7 Reasons why i love my blog..

1.Aku dapat ekspress my feelings... Org baca ke x .. blakang kira.. eh.. aku bkn nak ada blog sehebat hanis zalikha..
2.Dpt tgk life org lain.. especially my school friends..
3. See?.. my blog da turn jadi ceria kale pink.. dulu konon2 nak mysterious.. sbb tue i guna kale black..lalalala.. probabally ikut mood aku skrg.. skrg mood gedik, so pink sesuai..
4.Menghilangkan rasa bosan..
5.Tempat nak bersosial selain facebook..
6.Tempat konon2 nak tunjuk site poetry saya..
7. Last but not lease, just nak up to date..

Thanks for reading peeps.. ;)

Survey again.. ;)

What is your favorite type of music?
- depends..

Favorite band?
- hurm.. tgk mood

What are you wearing?
- Baby T and short pants

Do you have a cellphone?
- Ofcourse

Would you rather be able to fly, or be invisible?
- Both..boleh?.. tapi kalu x leh invisible lah kowt..

Do you go to school, have a job, or mooch?
- college..(okey x dew dlm list)

Isn't it fun to mooch?
-sometimes yes, but im not that type of person.. hoho

Have you ever purposefully made someone angry just because it was funny?
- X kan kowt.. i dont want to hurt anyone..

u or you?
- Both.

Do you dream often?
- mimpi ke,impian?.. both sometime..

Describe your favorite or freakiest dream:
- haha.. x moh citer..

Which is worse, cheating or stealing?
- both

What was the last thing you stole?
- Cant remember

Out of the seven deadliest sins, what would you fall under?
- Entah

Are you afraid to let people see the real you?
- Depends pada person, kalau family and friends it should be, kalau bos ke org ternama , malu lah nak wat perangai... haha

What is your biggest fear?
- Allah s.w.t

If the world ended in a zombie apocalypse, would you be ready?
- Hari kiamat lah weyh..

Are you a skeptic, or do you easily believe?
- Ussually skeptic.. but depends situation

Pick: pie to the face or being drenched in chocolate syrup?
- niether

When you see chickens try to fly, does it make you feel sad?
- Kenapa pulak?.. haha

If the world ended tomorrow, would you be ready?
- Banyak dosa x tertanggung.. taubat2..

Or would you have unfinished business?
- Mmg byk..

Who will die first: the alcoholic or the junkie?
- Both.

Do you like video games?
- Freak.. maniac

How do you feel about people who sit in the dark and play for hours-on-end?
- selagi x kacau aku x pew lah..

If you had to, which day of your life would you relive for ever?
- Not sure..

Describe the perfect society?
- No racism, no politics..

Are you a grammar freak?
- Oh tidak.. grammar saya lemah okey..

What is something you do that you know you shouldn't?
- Cakap benda yg x sepatutnya.. huhu.. i cant take it back.. ;(

If you could, would you choose a different life, or is yours fine?
- fine lah kowt.. tapi cambest gak try life org len.. tp takut krg aku nyesal pulak.. (-_-")

What is your favorite bird?
- Ntah aku suka butterfly..(lari tajuk)

You're trapped on an island with your best friend. Who eats who?
- Dosa makan org.. carik lah makanan yg ada..

Is dating overrated?
- Yeke?..

Why were you last really sad?
- That person, hmm.. x moh ckp..

Happy?
- Biase2 jek..

Nak buat jugak.. haha

*curik from Kak Iffah . :D

1. Bekas kekasih saya adalah:
- X pernah ada.. sigh*

2. Saya sedang mendengar:
- Lagu baru jojo kinda shy..

3. Mungkin saya patut:
- buat kerja lebih faedah.. haha

4. Saya suka:
- Chocolate .. stock coklat da habis.. ;(

5. Sahabat-sahabat baik saya:
- The person that knows me best

6. Saya tak paham:
- nasihat org suruh buat tapi dia x buat

7. Saya kehilangan:
- umm ... x nak ckp.. next question please

8. Ramai yang berkata:
- Saya suka senyum sorang2.. haha.. weyh aku x gila lah..grrr

9. Makna nama saya:
- mulia..Mulia ker?..

10. Cinta itu adalah:
- mystery,pure, tah lah saya pun x pernah bercinta.. huhu

11. Di suatu tempat, seseorang sedang:
- thinking about me?.. okey sudah lah kamu perasan.. ;P

12. Saya akan cuba:
- learn from the best

13. Ayat SELAMANYA membawa maksud:
- no ending..

14. Telefon bimbit saya:
- bernama bobby.. i love him..

15. Bila saya terjaga dari tidur:
- Tgk jam kat bobby..

16. Saya paling meluat apabila:
- cakap x serupa bikin.. kuat berlakun..mulut manis.. eceh mcm byk pulak listnya..

17. Pesta/Parti adalah :
- best .. boleh dress up segala..

18. Haiwan yang paling comel yang saya pernah temui ialah:
- BuBue..

19. Peringkat umur yang paling menyeronokkan bagi saya ialah:
- mase kecik kowt..when my mom still around..

20. Hari ini:
- Saya spent time dgn adik2..

21. Malam ini saya akan:
- X plan lagi..

22. Esok pula saya akan:
- ntah la..

23. Saya betul-betul ingin:
- Dekan.. ok u wish kc, u wish..

24. Ketika anda lihat wajah anda di hadapan cermin pagi ini:
- Comel jugak rambut aku nieh..budget lah kc nieh..

25. Pusat membeli-belah atau arked permainan:
- Shopping centre lah.. tapi kalau dgn adik2 arked sbb dieorg bising bosan shoping

26. Makanan Barat atau Jepun :
- Barat, fav tuh.. jepun, depends tp jrg suka

27. Bilik yang terang atau gelap:
- depends aktiviti, kalau nk stady bilik gelap nk tdo bilik terang.. eh tebalik.

28. Makanan segera adalah:
- Makanan enjoy bersama family or friends..

29. Ayat terakhir yang anda katakan pada seseorang?
- ina pergi mana tadi?..

30.Siapa yang anda mahu Tag?
- anyone can.. ;)

Dear Izzah Hayati Bt. Saibudin

Dalam diary ikan aku ... aku terbaca satu cerita mengenai my childhood friend.. Ianya berbunyi bergini..

Ak kenal die tyme aku tadika lagi.. Ktrorg tadika sesama,..and sama kelas.. Masa time amik gambar kelas dia senyum luas sgt nampak gigi sampai ke telinga.. Hehe.. Sblm aku amik gambar kelas aku terdengar ada seorang makcik nie cakap dekat anak die"kalau amik gambar nanti jangan senyum nampak gigi".. aku masa kecik x paham asal makcik tue ckp camtu.. So time amik gambar kelas aku x senyum pun sebab takut senyum teringat kata2 makcik tue.. Rupanya anak makcik tue giginya x dew.. haha patutlah x kasi senyum.. Back 2 my friend, aku ingat lagi time dia cakap rumah dia ada dua sebelah2 cam kembar.. Kalau nak main2 die pergi sebelah.. So aku pun percaya lah.. Rupanya rumah sebelah tue jiran die.. haha.. Apalah izzah nie kecik2 da pandai kelentong.. Pastue da masuk sekolah rendah ktorg tak selalu sama2.. aku dgn kawan aku aqilah safura namanya.. die dgn fadilah.. Tapi masa balik sesama sbb naik van sekolah yang sama.. Aku kawan dgn lizawati, so does her.. Lizawati nie banyak duit blanja and dia suka blanja kawan2 yg lain.. And die rasa people nak kawan dgn die sbb duit jek.. But to some maybelah, but to me i dont judge people's look.. but i judge attitude.. Kadang2 aku dtg rumah izzah konon2 study group.. tapi jadi borak group pulak.. haha.. Masa form 2 aku jumpa izzah balik then dia bley nak jeles aku rapat dgn alia.. But then mase form 3 pulak aku rapat dgn izzah pulak smpai skrg lah .. Aku rasa selesa ckp dgn die.. 'She knows a lot of my dirty lil secret'.. So kalau nak taw aku camner tanya izzah.. Walaupun at times aku cam benggang dgn izzah tapi aku still nak kawan dgn dier sampai bila2.. Tapi aku rasa sedihlah sbb da x ley hang out slalu dgn die sbb masing2 dgn life msg2 so sgt ssh nak hangout.. But i hope boleh rapat jugak walaupun jarang jumpa nanti..

Sebijik cam dalam diary ikan time aku high school izzah, cumanya aku tukar sikit2 sbb ayat cam terlampau kebudak2an.. haha..Sila komen cpt izzah.. And to my other friend yg nak aku tulis sal die bgtw lah..

The past

Hari nie aku terbaca my old diary.. diary mase aku sekolah menengah dahulu...Skrg dah jadi mahasiswi diary matured sikit.. Dulu gambar cartoon ikan plus kertas yg wangi2 tue colourful sgt..Sgt x matured... haha.. but anyway.. aku sgt pemberontak .. aku x suka berkomunikasi dgn my own father.. Selalu jek gaduh.. plus probably maybe aku belum boleh terima kehilangan my own mother.. I felt so alone.. My dad suruh blaja .. aku main2 myspace lah.. main game lah.. time 2 aku masih berdendam lagi.. I used to hate my surrounding.. Probably aku rindu sgt kat my own mother.. x taw nak ngadu dkt sape.. My dad busy kerja.. Die pun agak serabut time 2.. I used to blame my father for what happen.. Skrg da besar aku rasa sgt bersalah and berdosa.. Tapi aku boleh paham perangai aku dulu sbbnya aku x matang lagi.. Plus time awal2 teenage lah usually people byk memberontak pun..Baru nak kenal dunia.. Not to say im now very mature cumanya lagi better than before.. Anyway disbbkan aku malas belajar and aku kuat memberontak result spm aku setimpal dgn perangai aku... haha.. Aku da macam hilang harapan da nak study balik.. Abah aku suruh aku study kat Kelantan pra-diploma Uitm.. I cryed dr rumah smpai airport pengkalan chepa.. First time jauh dgn family.. Aku rindu gila kat adik2 aku... Ipin dan ina.. First time duk asrama.. Byk sgt first experience.. First time betul2 rapat dgn lelaki.. hoho.. Time pra dulu lagi byk kes.. hoho.. Tapi malas la nak citer sgt.. Anyway sekarang aku belajar diploma sains uitm .. still kat kelantan la.. Aku bersyukur sgt.. Sbbnya im better now.. Aku dapat gain my self confident now.. God still give me a chance to be better in life.. Aku x nak lah jadi ppn menganggur je.. cam x dew masa depan.. Terasa diriku cam sgt loser time tue.. Skrg aku harap aku dapat blaja rerajin and bangga kan my family especially my dad.. Nak pulihkan balik my past mistakes.. Nak jadi lebih better.. Insyaallah.. ;)

Dunia ini kecik dan bulat

Hari ini aku spent time with my dear facebook the whole day.. Paham2 ajalah tyme aku ad mood nie dah macam ketagih pulak.. sbb tue lah aku x nak buat before exam.... nak pulak x dew sapa nak mara aku ke sbb on9 lelama.. anyway walaupun lappy aku sangat panas at the moment.. and kalau kat sana ssh nak on9 .. nak kena pinjam broadbane kawan.. huh malaslah sbbnya aku x suka pakai barang org.. kalau bermasalah karang susah..well anyway.. tah tetiba timbul ilham aku utk sign up for facebook... sbnrnya da lama da niat nak buat.. cuma malas..

On9 punya on9 x sangka plak jumpa sepupu.. oh kiteorg jejak kasih lah kat wall mimo/ azimah kawan sekelas aku semasa pra dulu.. die skrg study kat uitm n9 cos yg sama dgn kazen aku qusairi namanya... Aku ada 5 org sepupu yang sama baya.. Qusairi , najwa and me amik cos yang sama while wani buat dip busnes ,mamat buat degree after matrik and sowg ag kazen belah abah lelaki, tgh amik cos nak jd pilot...OH terpaksa la bersaing.. and i pretty much HATE that.. Dari UPSR,PMR , SPM and sekarang DIP sains kena bersaing.. hoho.. cukup2 lah tue.. naik bosan aku.. get a life.. get a life.. but the good part is maybe bley sesama blaja medik kat indon.. hmm.. itupun kalau dapat and he is pretty much konfident bley dpt..

Patu terperasan pulak en.shahrul my biology lecturer, si kamarul paksa aku add die.. haha.. bukan x nak add memula just segan.. anyway boleh pulak wat perbincangan sal usc club kat wall die.. haha.. aku nak plan wat tshirt .. die nak berkolar... ramai nak kale purple.. let see what i can do..

Miss G pun ad.. hmm.. heehehe and i wish her happy teachers day.. ;)

Nampak gayanya aku lebih prefer menaip.. dr ckp in life.. dont know why.. probablly im pretty much lame dlm bab2 eye contact nie..hehe aku sgt shy2..

Its complicated

Be careful what you wish for.. sometime i feel like somebody is watching me..far.. far from here.. dont even know why.. its feels like that.. its hard to explain what just happen.. WEIRD...

Goodnite

Just before you started to do anything reckless you better sleep now.. hoho.. gudnite.. smbg esok.. probably maybe..

Semester satu berakhir..

Sem 1 dah tamat, terasa sungguh sekejap.. mungkin sbb aku agak busy sem nie kalau nak banding dgn pra sem lepas.. Blaja extra sem nie.. tapi pointer cam tue jugak.. x taw lah leh meningkat ke x .. Kalau aku dapat dekan kompem wat kenduri kendara.. .. hehe.. but im not hoping that much ssbnya i dont even work that hard.. Anyway the whole journey was fun, different and agak mencabar jugak.. Peer pressure, exam pressure .. Kena tindas dgn kawan, backstabber, fakers, mengumpat2.. cakap belakang.. dengki mendengki..All this things yg aku hadapi the whole sem.. Its hard to find a friend yang betul2 boleh di percayai.. Kadang2, sedap dimulut.. suara manis je.. bukan macam aku suara macam budak lelaki.. haha.. x sedap langsung.. haha.. plus aku bukan jenis manja2.. anyway ad plak yang kat depan pijak semut x mati. tapi kat belakang hanya tuhan je yang tahu..
Manusia mana berani mengaku kesalahan .. egonya tinggi.. Tapi sampai mana pun kau nak berdiri megah pun.. apa2 pun niat.. kalau niat x baik kompem akan pecah tembelang jugak.. Sepertinya dia suka buruk sangka kat org lain... menunding jari kat org lain.. mcm lah kau perfect sgt.. Tapi maybe salah aku sbb jarang tegur kesilapan org.. even nak marah pun jrg .. tapi jgn lah sbb tue kau senang2 amik mudah pijak kepala.. Mate just one thing to remember, appriciate anythings that is precious to you , you never know when your gonna lose them.. kalau tuhan nak tarik anytime je..hoho

Selain itu, sem nie penuh dgn cerita lecturer.. yelah kolej kecik je kowt.. kalau nak score subject 2 kenalah rapat2 kan diri dgn lecturer.. lain lecture lain caranya.. and depends pada subject jugak... Anyway sem nie almost semua lecturer yg mengajar aku merajuk dgn klas aku.. Dak klass aku nakal2.. dtg klas lambat.. tiru meniru.. Yg aku begangnya time geng aku wat salah cam nampak sangat.. kalau yang lain tue cam x pernah kena tangkap pun.. hoho.. kalau kes tiru2 ckp jelah subjek pe yg x pernah ad kes..aku pun tergolng jugak.. tapi dah serik sbb dah terkena skali.. haha.. anyways lecturer2 yang merajuk2 tue.. geng kami lah kena wat muka comel2 ala2 konon2 x bersalah pergi mintak maaf.. Madam Yati lecturer bio kami dapat coklat cadbury sempena rasa bersalah sbb x jadi nak wat klass.. die ckp ktorg hiprokrit.. hoho.. sgt pedas.. tapi lecturer cam org biasa gak.. kalau pujuk2 lama2 lembutlah hati mereka.. Hehe.. best part bio carry marks aku highest among the subject lain.. sgt x bley bla sbbnya subjek biolah subjek aku yg plg lemah sbb mangunakan keupayaan menghafal since aku high school.. terima kasih madam yati kerana x kedekut carry marks.. kalau bio saya dapat A I want to thanks both my lecturer for that.. Ada 2 lecturer yang masih muda and single mingle.. digempar gempurkan nak tamatkan zaman bujangnya tahun ini. Tapi cam x nampak pun sign2 nya.. hoho.. maybe rumours sahaja..

Beach Holiday..

Bunyi cambest je.. tapi.. well for the LPKPP yang program wajib for all uitm student tue.. Venue die kat bachok kelantan at pantai irama.. Start pagi pukul 7 bertolak.. smpai dlam kul 9 lelebih.. En. Wan , jue and kamarul besekomplot mengembar gemburkan cerita duk kat chalet.. Aku da baynag ad katil single 1 bilik 2 org.. ad telefon for room service, peti ais kecik, tv kecik, gelas, heater, aircond.. dan lain2… Tapi… cam indah khabar dari rupa.. air kejap2 ada kejap2 x dew… mmg mendengki aku betul.. Tapi berbaloi lah dengan harga RM500 for 26 student plus 6 lecturer sekali makan.. mmg budget habis.. then ada aktivit sal bangau oh bangau.. moral of the story.. jangan salah kan org lain kalau result x bagus.. example jadual , lecturer.. hoho.. sorry lecturer kalau saya ad wat silap.. (ceh mcm lecturer ak baca blog ak plak ) Then makan.. best part.. patu ceramah yg sgt mengantukkan diri.. hoho..aku paksa diri utk tidak telelap.. yang len sebuk mesej2 dgn bf memasing.... mengadu lah kowt.. ad yang da seronok di buai mimpi.. haha.. ad yang borak2 , bermanja2 dgn rakan sebelah.. heh2.. then da abis ceramah ak sampai je bilik aku spent time dgn bantal dan katil.. haha.. phm2 jelah once da telelap da malas nak bangun.. kengkawan ak yang lain da seronok bermandi-manda kat pantai.. aku tinggal kat bilik sensorng.. tgk2 da lambat.. aku solat asar pun da lambat.. hoho.. nak mandi air cam sudi x sudi..then tgk2 da lambat org yg incharge makan malam da angkut da.. x sempat aku nak makan.. bedebah betul.. Ceramah malam cam okey lah ak da x ngantuk sgt.. lapau and penat tue ada lah.. tekejut ak Miss G, lecturer bio ingat nama aku.. padahal x pernah bertegur sapa , sbb x pernah mengajar pun.. mmg sgt peka.. otak bio lah kowt.. pakar megingat2.. tapi yg aku x paham syaz dier leh ingat ayat bio yang menjela2 tue tapi bila pesan belikan makanan x ingat.. patu tah paper tah dier beli.. haha.. anyway ak yg still kelaparan.. dgn muka ceria menjamah minum malam yang disedikan.. org lain makan 2 je kuih.. aku bantai 4 kuih.. haha.. Part yg paling best... hihi.. aku dan rakan2.. berjalan malam2 tepi2 pantai..aku balas dendam sbb ptg td x sempat nak join.. Perasaannya sgt best.. Angin sepoi2 bahasa.. bintang sangat banyak.. kalau kat KL kompem ssh nak nampak bintang.. bintang bersinar menyinari langit.. bunyi ombar yang megasyikkan.. terasa pasir2 terlekat kat kaki.. pantainya sgt bersih and terasa bahang maybe sbb malam..Kamarul berpoyo2 konon2 nampak comet ..haha.. once in a lifetime konon.. Sgt romentik.. hoho.. Semua kepenatan , keletihan, kebencian terasa hilang .. Oh pantai sungguh tenang.. All the hard work worth the beach.. I love beach..smile

Last paper..

Today on the last day of paper kimia , 8.5.2010. I feel so happy and terharu.. Because I feels so free and the same time so kosong, mcm x der benda nak fikir… Lecturer yg jaga tue sangat lawak.. Oh menghiburkan.. Senior dak scince amik statistic.. Oh sgt ramai di dewan… As usual aku kebinggungan jawab final.. last paper slalunya yang paling mencabar sbb mood study da kurang.. tapi people wat x endah je sbbnya last paper just nak habiskan then leh balik ke rumah tercinta..

Anyway.., pada malam ini kami semua plan2 nak enjoy2 releasekan ketensionan yang ada sbb da abis exam.. but the unexpected just happen..aku siap yang paling cepat and awal as usual.. Aku ngan awin g bank dulu.. keluarkn duit for us girls.. Then awin berniat nak belikan hadiah hari ibu for her mother.. so she decide nak belikn telekong kat uptown.. anyway, usha punya usha..lama giler.. penat aku tunggu x beli pun.. hoho.. hmm ak x kesah sgt sbb mmg perangai dier cam 2 .. aku tengok jam mcm dah lama die duk usha2.. aku plak da cuak takut2 kengkwan ak da habis makan sbb sblm g bank da janji nak jumpa kat KFC near mydin..Then… dah sampai KFC aku benggang giler kat Nur Syazliana Hj Awang.. die wat lawyer buruk la plak… rasa cam nak cincng2 belah empat puluh empat kerat.. haha.. bley plak dier g tinggalkan ak sensorang kat bawah dier relex2 bawak makanan naik atas.. nak pulak 2 cakap sekerat-sekerat.. x paham aku.. bermasalah betul.. then yg last tinggal ak dan shila nabila with her bf , kamarul.. naik lah bertiga kami… then sampai kat atas.. ak wat muka tahan marah... duk tepi.. and ad kek atas meja.. aku blur.. marah 2 still ad.. then, shitah, awin, syikin , syaz and kamarul.. shout surprise!.. ak still blur.. tgk kat kek cam x dew nama sesiapa pun.. Rupannya.. it was a suprise party for shila nabila and ME!.. Birthday shila 19.april aku plak 10 april.. so they decide wat surprise skali la kowt… hoho.. da lama da mereka plan even before final week start pun.. Mmg sgt surprise.. And I almost cryied.. TERHARU.. TERHARU… Thanks friends.. LOVE YOU ALL…

FACEBOOK

ari nie aku istiharkan terlahirnya facebook aku.. hohoo..marilah add. tapi x taw lah smpai bila aku boleh jaga pun.. tgk krg mood malas aku dah menyerang.. haha..
email- cayce_1004@yahoo.com

Love yourself day.

We are so different.. your like summer, im like winter.. we seems to complete each other.. but nobody's knows that..nobody's can hear that.. so sad ..yet so true.. Since some relationships seems tougher than the others its seems wiser to love yourself first.. I want a relationship where I can be myself and not forcing myself to be like others. I want people to love me for who I am.. not for who im not.. and im only can love the person that love me.. and I want the person that I love to be himself.. just the way he really are inside.. Its really hard to find my soul mate.. I got long way to go.. lots of dreams needs to be taken care of.. I really hope everything’s will go well.. one day when Im ready I hope my prince charming will be too..I want fairy tale love or at lease fairy tale weddings.. (yeah2 my imagination are quite high).. Sigh*.. I want to make it as simple as possible but it never did..

Say

Life is like a gamble.. we dont even know what's gonna happen next.. are we bound to make mistakes.. well i hope not.. breath.. rilex and take it easy.. one step and another.. i make a huge different today.. probably i just said too much.. but then again its better to say too much than dont have to say what you need to say again..

You and I

I want myself back,
where i can feel the breeze,
the thunder, the rain and the sun,

Now the life become lost and stressful,
I am sorry for everything love,

If you were for me i wont feel sorry,
If you were for me i don't have to worry,

Still searching for your shadow,
Still wanting for your sole,

Because i dont want to lose,
Because i dont want to get myself confuse,

Are you for me?
Are you with me?

Only the one knows,
One have the answer,

Let me forget if i cant have forever,
Let me be free if it wasnt meant together.

I don't know what im capable of,
i don't know if im ready for,

Make the trust tight so that i will be strong,
Let my eyes be wide open if the sense was wrong,

But i never regret in what im saying,
Never feel regret in what im doing,

Now i just laugh trough the confusion,
and smile through the frustration

Because everything happen for a reason,
because everything were meant for each other

When

When i saw you with her,
Its like a sword through my chest,
its like a ghost that freeze thy self.

When i saw you with him,
I feel the pleasure of letting go,
i feel the freedom that never before,

When i am with him,
Its feel like smiling through the heart,
its feel like a guilt that never apart.

When i am with her,
Its like the awkwardness doing the opposite,
Its like the confusion between the feelings.

When i saw ours together,
I cant even speak, no words found
no reaction worth, no sole needed.

When i saw myself in the mirror,
I saw the mysterious future brings me,
i saw the bright lady inside me,

We all makes mistake,
We all said the untruth,
We all suffer for the best,
we all was made for life,

We need time to survive,
We need mankind to be alive,

Trust, a little faith and hope,
Just waiting for a better tomorrow.

You in me

Your far,very far from home
The last time we meet we were very young ,
and we were very happy,

Time separates us,
and we have to face the reality,
and the whole worlds surrounds us,

I do know how much you care,
how much you always there, in me,
near me, in my heart.

You will always here,
protect the truth
and gives life a new meaning
give my sole something to sing,
give the love that last forever,

And how much i miss you,
you dont even know,
how much you are always
here in my heart,
near my heart,

Your fears hurts me,
Your sorrows pain me,
everything's about you belongs to me,

And how much time left for us,
i will patiently wait for you forever,
Until the day we will ever meet again.

Sunshine

Sunshine

Your my sun,
always there in daylight,
But i cant see you no more,
Since the rainy and cloudy day.

You shine my life,
the last time i ever smile so happily,
But not anymore now,
Since thunder take you away from me.

Sunshine,

Your so bright,
i cant even see through,
i hope you can tell me the truth.

I remember your eyes ,
that brighten the whole worlds around me,
The one that used to give me hope and faith,
The one that make me forget and move along,
I wish you is where i belong

Sunshine,

i want to be the bright side of your bad day,
and hope all your stressful will go away.

Knows that,i could do almost anythings,
if i can be your everything's.

Dear sunshine,

I am always yours to keep
although you cant never be mine

Usc-Pilihan Raya..

Plihan raya.. Ad 1 tyme 2 ak gatal tangan g tulis nama dkt kak iffa for USC pilihan raya.. Memula ak ingat cam maybe x serius club nie.. Kiranya cam tyme sekolah2 dulu..Bg nama je kerja x byk sgt pun.. Tapi rupanya ad udang di sebalik mee.. This is serius club..Wat kerja cam org besar punya..Ad working paper la.. Filing la.. And byk aktiviti.. Perjumpaan jgn citer la.. Sgt kerap!.. Ak cuma berniat nak jd bendahari sbb ak suka bab2 mebudget2.. mengira2 nie.. Cam kat dorm ak.. Ak lah yg tukang kasi komen sal membeli brg budget.. X perlu la mahal or branded yg penting berkualiti.. And ofcourse moto x bley bla ak Quality is better Quantity .. X smpai seminit ak piker.. Terus kene hantar borang.. so terpaksa redha je la.. Dlm otak ak ak piker sal duit la ofcourse tyme 2.. Tp ak x harap pun kalau x dpt jawatan 2 Cumanya kalau leh ak x nak jawatan s/u kerja berat woo..

Anyway, konflik disini apabila penasihat kami buat rombakan bg calon2, x len x bukan En. Shah.. G memendai2 tukar ak dr calon bendahari ke s/u.. 2 x pew lg.. Ak kne bertandiing dgn Syaz! Member dorm ak sendiri.. Calon s/u 2 org je wey.. Yg len dier g longgokkan ke jawatan len.. Nampak sgt kalau x ak syaz lah yg kne jd s/u.. Huhu.. Ak cool lg sbb dpt rase cam maybe syaz menang.. Dier lg bersosial nak banding ak.. Or org kate friendly.. Or jinak2 merpati.. So ramai lah kenal dier lg2 senior sbb dier penah join ukhwah Ramadan USC yg wat.. Ak nie plak jenis agak pemalu.. and ak cuma ckp dgn org yg ak rapat jee.. Ak wat bet dgn syaz and jue.. Kalau ak menang ak kena blanja dierorg.. Kalau syaz menang ak kena blanja mereka..Utk syaz benjo 2 malam dkt dpn hostel kami and dkt dgn kedai mainan ultraman 2.. yg juga berharga RM 1.20 serba satu.. Benjo abg 2 wat sgt sedap.. Anyway sepanjang pilihan raya ak pikr camner lah ak nak face the world dgn kekalahan ak nie.. Oh yes, mmg betul jangkaan ak , ak kalah.. or en.shah kate loser.. haha… ye pathetic.. undian rosak pun ad, undian ak 54, while syaz 134.. ye no. ak lg kecik nk banding syaz.. tp ak menghargailah sesape pun yg vote for me.. thanks a lot.. Oh ye esknya jue belikan kek bola yg ad dkt lobby kptm 2 sempena meraikan kemenagan syaz..

Terima kasih cik shah kerna mencalonkan saya sebagai s/u ari 2.. walaupun ak x menang pun.. haha.. in fact ak sgt prefer jawatan timbalan sbb dlm otak ak timbalan s/u kerjanya kurang sikit dr s/u.. tp awal2 da kena sound dr en.shah , timbalan pun kena wat kerja kalau x kena pecat!.. Malu setahun ak kalau kena pecat.. Anyway ak akan cuba memegang jawatan ini sebaik mungkin.. PS- ak rase cam dah ala2 puteri umno la plak eh..

Treasure your heart

Bangun pagi bersemangat waja utk ke cherita aka story.
Things doesn’t go well though.huhu.But I wont give up. Stay strong because if you want to get the best you will have to get through the worst. Well anythings else tarik nafas panjang2 lepaskan ketensonan yg ad. Oh yes, ak terlepas 30 minit fizik klas . Borak x selesai2 dgn senior2.. x prasan jam. Quiz bio, hmm k lah, as usual, im not that good but probably getting better. Ad benda yg wat ak sensitive lately nie.. Rase cam nak nangis.. Nak ngadu pun x taw kat sape.. Even when pensel case ak hilang ak da sensitive.. Mungkin kerana dr 1 masalah lead kpd another masalah.. Anyway pensel case 2 da jumpa.. Tertinggal tyme klass bio.. Patu the star of the day , TREASURE HUNT… Ak , Syaz , Sharum Yap join as 1 team.. Most of the student dlm klas ak join as peserta n ajk.. Dr awl checkpoint smpai last checkpoint ktorg yg 1st team.. Lari cam lintang pukang.. X kira kiri kanan.. Sgt penat weyh.. Tp ktorg dpt no 4, what a waste.. Senior main tipu! .. Ktorg dah mendahului dierorg 2,3 checkpoint da.. tetiba dier cam skip checkpoint patu dtg2 da dpt jawapan.. Sbbnya ajk 2 member2 dieorg.. so, dierorg dpt jwpn terus..Nak pulak 2 bg kat 2 team seterusnya jwpn kengkawan dierorg jgk.. huhu.. Ktrog da 2 gi pikir bagai nak rak..Skema lalat lg .. Otai2 pun masih ikut rules.. And ak lah the brutal’s among the brutals in the klass lg2 tyme bel klass.. Dak laki klas ak lg super skema.. Nasib baik la ak ad perasaan cepat bersalah.. so x tersesat jauh.. Anyway some of the ajk sgt sporthing bg sokongan n dorongan.. Ramai yg aim ktrog 1st tp nak wat camne kan.. x dew rezeki.. Ad lak ajk yg bknnya nk tlg tp merumitkan lg adlah.. Siot cap Ayam betull.. Sepanjang tresure hunt nie sgt semput, tired, yelah lama x berlari.. Terkejut kaki ak dibuatnya.. Ak cm heartless je tyme wat 2 .. da x keysah da sesape kat sekeliling ak.. Ak x harap pun dpt 1st tp agk frust sbb senior main kotor.. But over all ak enjoy the run.. Buat ak lupakan sebentar hidup ‘Realiti’.. Mlm nie enjoy mkn KFC dkt mydin 2.. Lepas bincng sal drama.. Senak gyler.. Patu ad tikus2 aka pekerja2 lelaki kfc yg nakal2 bertambah gatal2 yg ngorat x kena tempat and cara.. SO scary mary.. And now ak kat Pantai Timur 4.. aka Hostel Tercinta.. HAha.. GUdnite yall..

Im home, again.

Cuti mid break..

Lappy ku lemah lembab btl.. hoho..